Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Randomize