let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
