I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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