Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
