I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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