Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
