My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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