I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
