I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
