I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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