on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
