Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize