worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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