why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
