I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Randomize
