sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
