So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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