Responsibility does not care about your dick.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
