Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
