I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
