yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
