Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Randomize
