shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
