Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
