that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Randomize
