So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
We just shotgunned beers for America
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Randomize