I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
