I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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