For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
