If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
