Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Randomize
