there was a trapeze. enough said
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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