She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
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I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
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Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Shame - the story of my life.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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