dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Randomize
