Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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