I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Send help, water and tortillas.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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