Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
