Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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