the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
