This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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