hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
