You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
