just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Randomize
