Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
