My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
