I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
