She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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