It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Found your dick twin last night
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
