so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
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