if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
