Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
