Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Randomize
