garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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