Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
time to smoke my breakfast
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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