I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
