i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
