be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
