You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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