i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Randomize
