yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
