she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
