stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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