Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
