Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
