if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Randomize
