Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Randomize
