So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
