She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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